If you ever happen to find yourself at Wal-Mart, and happen to see a pregnant mommy (as in me) who is flustered, doesn't have make-up on, is sweating, and obviously failing at chasing her adorable son, here are a few ways to avoid getting severely beaten by said mommy (as in me).
Lets start with a scenario.
Picture a very cute, albeit highly active and curious 20 month old. We'll call him Boston. He is happily tearing into everything in the cart, shrieking with excited ooo's, and ohhh's, and wow's. He is also trying to climb out of the cart constantly, regardless of child restraint usage.
Now picture a not so cute, very tired, very pregnant, disheveled, flustered, slightly distracted mommy. We'll call her Crazy Lady.
Now picture stupid other woman shopper who thinks she is really funny and very helpful but really isn't. We'll just call her Stupid.
So Crazy Lady is cruising as fast as possible through Wal-Mart, trying to get everything on the grocery list, keep groceries from flying out of the cart, keep child from flying out of the cart, and look for the most economic value on things.
Crazy Lady then edges around a little old lady to try and get some milk for Boston. Only to here a crash behind her. Crazy Lady turns to see 4000 gallons of water from a sippy cup spreading across the floor.
Stupid, who is standing very close. Busts up laughing, and then proceeds to make several jokes and laugh harder while Crazy Lady starts to feel a little more flustered and overwhelmed. Crazy Lady totally ignores Stupid and starts looking for a Wal-Mart employee.
Stupid then decides to lecture poor Crazy Lady. Apparently Stupid thinks Crazy Lady is going to get mad at cute little Boston who didn't mean any harm. Reminding her that it was just an accident and he didn't mean to and things like this just happen.
Crazy Lady musters all self control to keep from knocking Stupid out. With much effort, bends over gigantic belly to pick up the cup, keeps child in cart, finds an employee to inform of slipping hazard, and runs away from Stupid.
Stupid is very lucky she still owns all her teeth.
I am sure Stupid thought she was helping to lighten the mood. But she failed. Next time, instead of flapping her trap, perhaps she could pick the cup up for Crazy Lady, or better yet, offer to find and employee for her to help out. Then she might get her name changed from Stupid, to Miss Helpful.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
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13 comments:
Brittney, even though i feel terrible you had to deal with this - especially since I too am pregnant and can relate to your feelings about "Stupid" - I can't help but laugh at your story! I think you should have helped her lose some of her teeth ... I have bail fund going for just such occasions! :)
You are too hilarious! I could be crazy lady at times, too-- although without the pregnant belly! Is that still allowed??
love love it!! never mess with a pregnant lady.
dude i HATE when kaleb does something that he absolutley knows he is not supposed to do, and some jack ass makes a comment on how it was an accident, or he was just playing. uhhhhh YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT MY CHILD IS AWARE OF! kaleb knows he does NOT throw his sippy and he does it all the time. plus, when would the world full of "stupids" suggest we get upset at our children & start disciplining them? 16? 18? by then they are smoking weed and filling sippy cups w captain morgan?
I think you should have let her have it too! At least verbaly! Let her know she was NOT being Miss Helpful!
Ya we went to Monticello! What is your Grandma's name? Our good friend Landon Ramsay grew up there and family still lives there so I bet that they know of each other.
I am sorry to laugh, but that was funny! you're right though, "stupid" should have handled it better.
Wow, Crazy Lady is nicer than I would have been....I would have told Stupid Lady to mind her own business.
URGH! That is so frustrating. Nothing worse than feeling frazzled and then someone telling you how to react and how to be a parent. "STUPID" is too nice of a name... She should be named something much worse! :) You are a great mom! And such a good person -- you handled that MUCH better than I would have!
sometimes stupid needs to learn, next time don't hold anything back!!!
Hey, if you can post about it, there must be a small part of you, way down deep inside, that is laughing, too. Maybe you're laughing at the idea of what "Stupid" would look like without teeth, maybe you can laugh at your self -- either way, we're all laughing at your description, so read what you wrote, and get a good laugh yourself! It's called, Inexpensive Therapy!
Any woman who allows a pregnant woman to bend over and pick up ANYTHING should be court marshalled.
You should have knocked her block off (or at least said something like "thanks Stupid").
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