I'm not.
*sigh*
I don't want to grow up. I don't know how to be a grown up. We have been playing house now for 3 1/2 years. We are running a pretty good show so far. I am kind of waiting for all the smoke and mirrors to come tumbling down and everyone else will know I am just a dorky 14 year old after all. (Not a hip 14 year that is cool and fun, just an irresponsible slightly stupid one.) Yet, it hasn't happened yet and I'm pretty sure the state isn't going to come take my children from me, so I guess we aren't doing too bad.
When I was a kid (a real kid, not just a kid in my head) I had this idea that when I finally grew up I wouldn't be stressed out all the time. I wouldn't have to worry about drama and friends and boys and feeling like a somebody and being cool.
Stupid
Grown up stress is so much worse, besides that most of the old worries never went away. I still stress about friends and being cool. (Because those things matter ya know, who doesn't want to be a cool grown up?) The added grown up is stress is just worse, because it actually matters. My choices actually have long lasting results and consequences that affect not just me but my family. Consequences that could last far into the future. I never realized how many things you have to juggle to keep everything moving.
And I have no idea what I am doing.
Fake it until you make it right?
Well I'm faking it, are we making it yet?
8 comments:
R U okay? What's going on? This post kinda worries me..
Hey Brittney, you are totally making it! You are raising beautiful babies, teaching them the gospel, loving your hubby, helping support the family and still finding time to make me smile with your blog.
I do agree that grown up stress is no fun. I always think that it will go away with the next promotion, the next house, older kids, the next calling, etc., but it never does. So I am just embracing the stress and enjoying the ride in spite of it.
Hang in there!!!
No such thing as faking. You are for real, and we love just that way.
i totally thought when you grew up you automatically became "cool" too. I remember my dad saying so and so is such a dork and wondering how there could be dorks in the grown up world.
i totally get what you're saying here. But just so you know, I think you're doing just fine. Our parents probably thought they were doing us a favor by making their lives appear to be stressfree and easy...it was no favor.
You hate your minivan?? How could you? Look around the web for cute decals for your van, there's so many cute ones.
your honesty is cool :)
you have a young at heart spirit and you will be kicking it as an eighty year old with some really stylish hair and a wealth of knowledge!
Well said. I totally feel like I'm still 14 too! I remember hearing grown up women talk about "how they still felt like they were 20" when I was a teenager. That was so weird then! Now I totally understand. I still can't believe I have a husband and a kid. It DOES feel like pretend! :)
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