The decisions that we have had to make have been the hardest, most painful, most gut-wrenching and most embarrassing decisions we have ever had to make. Ever. While we only shared the news with our friends and family in the last week, these decisions have been in the works for quite some time. (Refer back to the part where we said we were embarrassed.) That is why we have been so shocked by some of the other comments made to us about the situation. We suddenly find ourselves defending our choices, the reason behind our choices as well as the amount of effort put into said choices. ALL of our choices have been made only after much prayer, fasting and temple attendance. We have felt greatly blessed to have been (somewhat) settled before the lay offs at Discovered actually began. We felt blessed to have found something so much cheaper that fits our needs so much better. We have struggled and cried, and yet we have had great blessings. The things people have said have not helped but made the situation worse, we can now add loneliness to the roller coaster that we are on.
It makes me think of what a judgmental parent I used to be. Before I had kids I would get so annoyed with other parents with children having tantrums in the store. My only thought was you should just control that child. I would then look down on them as an inferior parent. Then I had kids and I learned there is no "just control that child". I suddenly understood where the parent was coming from and felt bad about the way I looked at them.
The same thing goes for this situation. I always thought people that got into this situation had done it to themselves. They MUST have spent to much and taken exotic trips and bought lots of designer clothes and had really cool toys and it was all their own fault. My children wear clothes from the thrift store and from the clearance rack at Target. We canceled two trips already this year. I have always been frugal (well, cheap really) but I have reached new heights I never thought possible. I had no idea we could do so much on so little.
So I have a request. Please remember that until you have lived it, you don't really know what it is like.
10 comments:
Britt~ I love you to death and I hope that anything that I said didn't offend you!! We are kind of in the same boat right now and the last thing I want is someone telling me there is something I could have done to make it so we're not in this situation. I am sorry, but I have no control over Tim losing his job. The best thing for people to do is be supportive, not tell you what you should have done differently, right?
I know that you are doing what's right for you and no one should tell you different! Hang in there!
I am so sorry that people are judging and being hurtful. I really hope I wasn't one of them. I have had you constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Money problems suck, and if people dig deep and are honest, most people have them.
There is no reason why being honest about it should bring about judgement or unkindness. Isn't it awesome how people love to kick you when you are down?
When I started working part-time I remember people being really judgemental and assuming all kinds of crap. People love to create drama and put other people down because then they feel better about all the crap they are hiding.
You are not an island...unfortunately though in times like these, you find out who your REAL friends are. Hang on to them and let the others go drag someone else around in the mud.
And...one last chapter in this novel. Don't be embarrassed. You are awesome. Houses, cars and fancy clothes do not make a person valuable. You have done nothing wrong and you are doing A LOT of things right!!!
again, i am WITH you girl. we've been there. i do know what you're going through. it sucks. no bones about it. remember i'm here for you if you ever need anything!
I hear you! Sometimes you can do everything right, and these things still happen. Life just happens. And all you can do is what you've been doing - praying, fasting, and preparing the best way you can. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. Hey, at least you have the most adorable kids ever :)
We really do have the most adorable kids ever.
Ummm, you have adorable kids, but I am afraid not THE most adorable...but I digress.
Remember that we love you.
That's all I have to say about that.
You are completely right; I am very sorry you are going through this Brittney. And while I've never been through it before, and cannot empathize with you, I can sympathize with you -- right? I hope that my comment on your previous post wasn't taken with offence -- as that is not how it was meant. It was just meant to be compassionate towards you and your family, and for you to know we are thinking and praying for you.
When I was told you guys were moving, I didn't really believe it... I guess it's true (and already happened!). Where are you guys now? We'll miss Boston in Nursery. Of course you guys prayed about your decision before making it-- why would you not? Joe's last day of his job is tomorrow... his whole department is getting layed-off. We're in an interesting situation now, too, trying to decide if moving is best or if he can find employment here. I think everyone is affected by the economy in some way or another right now, so no one has the right to judge...
I'm sorry people have not put themselves in your shoes and have made you feel badly about your decisions. Personally, I think you are really smart for trying to be ahead of the game and to prepare as much as you can! I admire you for facing things so head on!
People are stupid. That's all. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. That's not to say surround yourself only with people who always agree with you, but with people who even in disagreeing, can still love you for who you are and not judge.
I always thought people would jump to some serious conclusions about what I must be like if I am open about the girls not living with us. Come to find out, Joyce Buckles is the only one who ever batted an eye. Everybody else has been kind and understanding and so far as I know have never passed any judgements. Just cut negative people out of your life. Who needs em?
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