This is what is left of my beautiful and much loved wedding statue. It sat at the desk next to my book at our wedding. It has since had a place of pride on the bookcase in each one of our (many) homes over the last 3 1/2 years. I love this piece. I think it is beautiful. It was sentimental and symbolic to me.I find it highly ironic that I broke the brides head off.
When we were moving into our current house I had all my figures stacked on a window sill between two rooms. I was chucking pillow cushions through the same window and knocked it to the tile. It was obviously shattered. I would have burst into tears if it weren't for the 4 guys helping us move. (Brandon discovered the broken mess shortly after it happened and was quick to tell me it wasn't him)
I kept telling myself it was just a thing.
Just a thing that I LOVE.
Just a thing that has much sentimental value from the day I got married to the man of my dreams.
But it is just a thing and it doesn't mean anything that it is broken.
I even thought, well I could find a replacement one and it will be just as good.
Whatever, it wouldn't be the actual one and therefore NOT as good.
All of this happened at time when I have been thinking much about the stupid sentimental value I attach to many things. I am a very sentimental person. I can't let things go. They are special reminders of special days and help me keep the memories alive. I have been working hard though to overcome this unhealthy attachment of objects. When they get broken I am so sad and waste precious time and energy being upset that a thing was broken. That is ridiculous.
To help me along in my efforts of getting over my attachment issues I continually remind myself that I can take nothing with me when I die. All I will have is the memories and so I really shouldn't care so much about the stuff.
This doesn't actually help. It just fuels the fire and pisses me off even more. I WANT to take my pictures with me. My pictures are my most prized and loved possessions. They capture moments and memories so much better than I can remember them. I love to look at my pictures over and over again. Those sweet moments of my newborn babies, candid shots of Andy and I playing and laughing together. I want to keep those. I am going to find a way to take them with me.
I catch myself trying to negotiate it with God sometimes. It usually tends to be one sided so I guess that isn't really negotiating so much as me just nagging. It pretty much goes like this, Come on Pleeeeeease? Can't I pleeeeease take my pictures with me? I promise to be real good.
I have a long way to go, but I really am trying. The fact that I haven't actually shed any tears over my statue is a big step. Granted, I have lamented and mourned for several weeks now so it may not be that big of a step, but I'm striving.
I can't make any promises about giving up my pictures though. I may get to the point where I will willing give up all my other treasures, but I am pretty sure that I am going to be buried with all my pictures. It will be a big binder full of Sartori Family DVD's.
So Andy make a note, upon my death I wish to be buried with all of my pictures of my loved ones. You better believe I'm taking them with me.
9 comments:
I will be gone way before you babe. I love you
"Read this with the humor it would be said out loud with"..."How Rude!"
ok, now, seriously. You know if you take your pictures with you, your memory dies with you and your grand children and great-grand children won't have anything to know you by. right?
that is the beauty of DVD's Lisa. You can make lots of copies for the sake of posterity.
I am sorry about your statue. I am not into things at all. I throw almost everything away but some things do conjure up good memories and it is a bummer to lose them.
As for the pictures, I agree. If I can't look at my kids with cake on their face or their first smile my heart would crumble. I have always thought that in heaven we will be able to recall those images perfectly anytime we want to. That may be false doctrine but I am hanging on to it.
Yes, letting go of pics would be the worst thing EVER. I sometimes think "What if the house burned down" or, more realistically, "What if our computer crashes, and all my photos are GONE!?!?!?" Makes me sad to even think of losing one fun picture of Sydney. We finally bought an external harddrive to copy things onto, and then we put it in our firesafe! Are we a little bit nervous or what?!?
I hear you. I have three of those same statues, one of a husband and wife (different than yours) Josh gave me right after we were married, another of a family of three, and another of a family of four. They didn't make one at the time with three kiddos on it, or he'd have probably bought us that one too.
But I have to remember sometimes that they're just things. With all that we've been through this last year or so, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what's important to me. All I want are my memories. Pictures are a really big part of that for me, too. Hopefully the Big Man has a LARGE scrapbook waiting for us up there with every little thing we'd like to remember. That's what I'm hoping for. :)
I couldn't agree more. Maybe since we all want to take these pictures with us, we could work something out. :)
I don't fully believe in the "can't take it with you" philosophy. I think of the quilt I made for my girls that wasn't finished before they passed. I plan on taking it with me and giving it to them still. Didn't Joseph Smith say all things were created spiritually before they were materially (or something to that effect--gospel scholar I am not). When I come to visit your mansion on high I will be looking for your resurrected statue.
I was given that beautiful statue for our wedding too. I love pictures...everytime you look at them it is like reliving the memory in some small way.
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